I Almost Decked An Annoying Adolescent Stranger Today
Holy fuck, was my my self-restraint tested today! I was at Staples buying packaging tape. It all started when I was upstairs. After I grabbed the tape and was heading for the escalator, I walked by a mom and daughter. The girl was maybe 14 years old. She had the loudest fucking cell phone I have ever heard. She was blasting all these new ring tones she was trying out. I let it go and continued to proceed to the downstairs checkout counter.
It only got worse after this. This new hire Zack was working the register. He didn’t know a paper clip from a fucking post-it note. I had two people ahead of me. Normally I am in and out of Staples in seconds. They are faster than shit. Not today though. I am third in line. Mind you I have been awake since 3:30 in the morning so my patience was taken to the limit. I keep my composure, however.
Then I realize the aforementioned mother/daughter combo has rolled up behind me in this agonizing line. Then this little brat from hell turns her cellie on and starts blasting some really shitty junior high R&B tunes. I cannot even make out the lyrics. It is just NOISE, really loud ear-shattering clusters of sound. This went on for at least a minute, although it felt like I had been subjected to this for hours and hours. All the store employees looked up at this girl, the people in line in front of me turned at her aghast, bewildered beyond bewilderment. I mean who does this shit!? I have never in my life been exposed to such insensitivity.
It was almost like the innocent bystander effect. We all wanted to strangle this cunt of a kid, but nobody could pull the string. We were so appalled at this behavior, in her mom’s presence no less. We could only watch and wait for this to stop. Then as the guy is ringing me up, this little bitch barrels into me and grabs a pack of Bubblicious Strawberry Splash and puts it on top of the of the packaging tape Zack is trying to scan. I mean come on. And she wasn’t retarded! I swear on my life I contempleted for a second just clenching my fist and popping her in the face. I knew I couldn’t do that, but she needed a good wake-up call. Surely it wasn’t coming from space cadet mom.
So I grab my bag, and am very deliberate during this process. Then as I am about to walk away, I just pause in my tracks and cast a cutting, scathing stare, first at the mother and then down to the daughter. I hold my expression and just shake my head and walk off. Automatic doors never looked so inviting.
2 years ago • Notes